This week I will become Mrs. Narayan. If I’m being honest… it feels a little surreal to even say that out loud.
Not because I don’t want it but because of everything it took to get here. Before Ron, I was strong. Independent. Unshakable. The kind of woman who held everything together, no matter what. I did things my way, on my own, because I learned that depending on anyone else wasn’t safe.
So I didn’t.
I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t lean. I didn’t allow space for someone to carry anything for me. I carried it all… alone.
And if I look back at that version of me now… I see a woman who was doing her best to survive. But I also see a woman who desperately needed something she wouldn’t allow herself to receive. Comfort. Leadership. A safe place to land. A moment to be soft without feeling like everything would fall apart.
But softness didn’t feel like an option back then, it felt like a risk. The truth is… I was scared. Not of being hurt physically, I knew I would never allow that again. But emotionally? That was different.
I was terrified that if one more thing pierced my heart… I wouldn’t recover from it.
So I guarded it. Carefully. Intentionally. Completely.
Then Ron walked in and did something unexpected. He didn’t pretend to be perfect. He didn’t try to impress me with a version of himself that wasn’t real. He just showed up… as he was.
And I did something I probably wasn’t “supposed” to do so early on… I told him everything.
The abuse from my first marriage.
The medical struggles with both my kids.
The loss of the greatest man I ever knew, my dad.
The hard parts of my life that most people don’t see.
And instead of running… he met me there. He shared his story too. No masks. No games. No pretending. We went into this with intention, almost like we were both saying, “Here it is. This is who I am. Stay if you want to. Walk away if you don’t.” And neither of us walked away.
But the moment I knew this was different… the moment everything shifted… was when I told him I was waiting on biopsy results.
It had only been about a week. I remember telling him it would probably be best if he left. That I was damaged. That I might be dying (yes, a little dramatic, but also very real in that moment). I gave him an out and he didn’t take it.
He stayed. He prayed with me. He prayed for me. He told me we would get through it together… no matter what. And he has continued to show that. Every. Single. Day.
Loving Ron hasn’t been perfect. We have conflict. We have hard moments. But we are committed to working through them together.
We don’t fight each other. We fight for each other.
And somewhere along the way… I changed. Not into someone new, per say, but into someone I had buried for a long time. I became softer. Softer than I have ever been. For the first time in my life… I don’t see that as weakness.
I see it as peace.
Loving him has brought me closer to God. It has rooted me in faith in a way I didn’t fully understand before. This relationship is Christ-centered. This marriage will be Christ-centered and that changes everything.
Becoming Mrs. Narayan isn’t just about a name. It’s about stepping into a life where I am no longer doing everything alone.
It’s about having a safe place to share my hopes, my dreams, and my sorrows and offering him that same space in return. It’s about learning how to receive real love… and being okay with it. It’s about no longer living in fight or flight. It’s about building a life with my best friend, the man I truly believe God made for me. More than anything…
it’s about showing my children what real love actually looks like.
Not the perfect kind you see in movies. But the kind that chooses each other on the hard days. The kind that communicates. That works through conflict. That grows. That stays.
I want them to see what it means to be loved correctly and to love someone correctly in return.
Because that matters.
And if I could say anything to the version of me who thought this kind of love wasn’t coming I would tell her this:
It’s possible.
But first you have to heal. You have to learn who you are and what you truly want. You cannot settle for “good enough” when you were created for more.
I wrote down everything I needed in a partner my non-negotiables. Somehow… Ron met every single one. Not by accident but by intention.
So if you’re waiting don’t rush it. Focus on yourself. Your growth. Your relationship with God. What’s meant for you will meet you there. As I step into this next chapter… I know exactly what I want it to feel like.
Peace.
Comfort.
Safety.
Adventure.
I don’t want to live in survival mode anymore. I don’t want to be the strong one… alone.
I want to feel at home.
And the beautiful thing is… I finally do. So as I become Mrs. Narayan I’m not just stepping into marriage. I’m stepping into a life where I promise to:
Compromise.
Slow down.
Love without fear.
Live with purpose.
Experience everything this life has to offer.
Not perfectly.
But fully.
XO – Lish