The day I was told both of my children had a heart condition was the day I knew our lives were going to be shaped by hospital visits, activity restrictions, and dietary limitations.
When your child has something that serious, you do not just take your precious gifts anywhere. You take them to the best.
For us, the best happened to be three and a half hours south.
Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford in Palo Alto is one of the best children’s hospitals in the country. We were lucky to have it “so close,” but let’s be honest… it was still a haul.
This was not an easy little day trip.
There was the nightmare of Bay Area traffic in the early mornings and mid-afternoons. You had to time it just right, or you had to get a hotel the night before to make sure you got to your appointment on time.
The kids and I often stayed the night before. Knowing our days were going to be full of EKGs, echocardiograms, and heart monitors, I always scheduled our appointments early in the morning so we could hopefully leave by noon and beat the traffic heading home.
But I did not want our frequent trips to the Bay Area to become a negative memory for my kids.
The ocean is something we have always loved, so I flipped the script.
Instead of saying, “Ugh, we have to go to the hospital again,” and letting that be tied to a long car ride, traffic, frustration, bathroom stops, and endless hours of appointments, I would say:
“We get to go to the ocean… and we also have a quick hospital trip.”
That one small shift turned what could have been a nightmare into something we actually looked forward to.
We had our beach. The kids would run up and down the sand, chasing the waves and letting the waves chase them right back. We climbed rocks, found treasures like crabs and sand dollars, and even hiked the trail that overlooked the beach.
We were not just making hospital trips, we were making memories.
Our beach was in Pacifica, and over time, it became part of our story.
One trip, we realized we had wildly overestimated the weather. It was freezing, even in June, so we had to find some warmer clothes. During that little detour, we stumbled into the Ross Dress for Less in Pacifica.
And listen… when I tell you that was the nicest, cleanest Ross I had ever been to, I mean it.
That place became a frequent stop for us. At this point, I do not think we can go to the Bay Area without making a Ross run, and somehow we always leave with something we absolutely “needed.”
After our time in Pacifica, we would make our way back to Highway 280 and head toward Palo Alto for the night. Along the way, we would drive down California State Route 1, the beautiful coastal highway, through Half Moon Bay.
We used to stop at the Hallmark there, and when it closed, we were genuinely sad about it.
Even now, the drive back over Highway 92 is one I will never get tired of. The Christmas tree farms and nurseries make the whole drive feel peaceful, and the eucalyptus-lined roads on the other side always felt like a familiar welcome.
Those are the memories we kept. Those are the sights we still think about. Those are the parts we chose to hold onto.
Taking a negative and turning it into a positive was not just helpful for our family , it was necessary.
It mattered for my kids’ mental and emotional well-being as we navigated years of appointments, uncertainty, and back-and-forth.
The anticipation of another adventure — a beach day, a coastal drive, or a trip to our favorite Ross — helped calm their nerves. It turned anxious unknowns into excitement about what we might see, find, or experience this time.
And in the middle of all of it, it bonded the three of us more than ever.
The kids knew they could depend on me.
Even though I am their mom, those moments deepened something between us. They built trust. They built connection. They reminded them that even when life was hard, I was going to do everything I could to make it a little softer.
One day, Colt and I were stuck on a Bay Area freeway in the pouring rain, and he asked me a question I will never forget.
He looked at me and said:
“Mom, why did God give us so much bad stuff to go through?”
I just looked at him for a second.
Because honestly?
It was a valid question.
And I answered the best way I knew how at the time.
“Colt, God allows us to go through difficult journeys so that we can use them to help other people. Look at how many people we have helped through domestic violence, pediatric heart issues, and even cancer. God did not make us go through it. He gave us the strength to get through it and to use our experience for good.”
I still firmly believe that.
I never want my story to be used for pity or sympathy. I once had someone tell me that I share my story because I want attention, and that could not be further from the truth.
I share my story because I want someone else to read it and think: “I can do this too.”
I want people to know they are not alone. Even if I do not know them personally, I want them to know I am rooting for them anyway.
Life can be a series of unfortunate events…
or
Life can be a series of lessons you choose to use to help and encourage other people.
You get to decide.
You get to flip the script.
XO – Lish