There’s a phrase I heard many years ago that didn’t make sense to me at the time: People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
It sounds simple enough when you hear it. Almost comforting.
Until life starts showing you exactly what that means. Truth has a funny way of revealing itself through the hardest seasons of life. The kind of seasons we never planned for and never asked for.
Truth found me when I left my abusive marriage.
Truth found me when I lost my dad to cancer.
Truth found me when my son’s future changed forever.
Those moments stripped everything down to what was real. They revealed people. They revealed strength. And they revealed truth.
One of the hardest parts about seasons in life is that you never know when they will end. Someone who once felt like they were going to be part of your world forever can suddenly become a stranger. Sometimes you become the villain in someone else’s story and sometimes they become the villain in yours. Accusations get thrown around… stories get twisted… misinterpretations grow legs and start running. And the hatred that can come from those moments can feel almost debilitating.
For a long time, my reaction was anger. Anger was always my first instinct. Then panic would set in. I felt like I needed to be the one to control the narrative before someone else did. I was defensive. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I was putting an incredible amount of weight into what other people believed about me and it was exhausting. Over time, that response began to change. Not because there was a single moment where everything suddenly made sense, but because life kept teaching the same lesson over and over again.
I slowly realized something important. I don’t need to prove who I am. My actions will always speak louder than any explanation I could give. The people who truly know who I am won’t waiver. The people who choose to believe something else were never really my people to begin with. I’ve become too tired to live for the court of public opinion. The truth is, I am not for everyone.
Even Jesus was misunderstood, judged, and treated poorly. None of us are meant to be accepted by everyone. At some point in life, we have to stop trying to convince the world who we are and instead focus on finding the people who already see us. And when you find those people, you hold onto them. The people who stayed in my life weren’t necessarily the loudest voices or the ones making big declarations. They were the ones who truly saw me. The ones who saw who I was, who I am, and who I’m still trying to become.
They saw the best of me and the worst of me and they stayed. Not because they had to, not because we share blood, but because somewhere along the way we became something deeper. They were my chosen family. They walked with me through fire and through clouds. They showed up in ways I didn’t even know I needed at the time. They didn’t always say the perfect words or have the perfect advice.
They simply stayed.
Through all of it, I also learned something about faith. In the hardest seasons of my life, I prayed more than I normally did. But if I’m being honest, that didn’t necessarily mean my relationship with God was stronger. At times it felt a little one-sided. Like I was asking Him for help in the moments I needed it but forgetting to give Him the glory when things were going well. Even so, He never failed me. Even when my faith felt imperfect, His presence never wavered. He carried me through moments I didn’t think I could survive and quietly kept nudging my focus forward.
One day at a time.
If I could go back and talk to the younger version of myself during those seasons of anger and panic, I would tell her something simple.
You know your truth. Even when it hurts. Even when the accusations are loud. Even when people believe things that simply aren’t true. You know your truth.
The only judge you truly need to worry about is God. If you know that you did the best you could with the strength He gave you, then that is enough. The rest will sort itself out. The people who stay are the ones God placed in your life for a lifetime. The others were part of a season and seasons come and go. The beautiful thing about seasons is that the next one is often more beautiful than the last.
God works that way.
If you are walking through a hard season right now, I want you to know something.
You are not alone.
There are people in this world who understand the pain of watching relationships change. The hurt of being misunderstood. The exhaustion of trying to defend your own character.
But there are also people who will see you.
The ones who stay.
The ones who walk beside you through the storms.
The ones who remind you who you are when the world gets loud.
And if you ever find yourself feeling alone in those seasons, know that there are others out here who understand.
Including me.
XO – Lish