Some mornings I wake up and feel the weight of my own bed. Empty on the other side, quiet in a way that’s not peaceful, just… lonely. Dating hasn’t been great. Swiping, small talk, and constant letdowns. And in that silence, I catch myself wondering if maybe I missed my chance at love. Maybe I was made for something else.
And then I see my boys… my son and now, his half-brother, who recently moved in. They’re only a few months apart in age, but their paths to this moment have been very different. He’s learning, slowly, what it feels like to be part of a consistent, structured environment. To be in a home where love is steady, where laughter is normal, and where expectations come with support. Watching him open up, settle in, and trust, little by little, has moved something in me I didn’t expect.
Maybe my purpose isn’t glamorous. Maybe I wasn’t meant for the fairy tale romance or a picture-perfect life. Maybe I was meant to raise good humans. And maybe… that’s more than enough.
There’s something about raising kids alone that forces you to define who you are. Loudly, clearly, and in front of an audience that doesn’t always clap. When my bonus son moved in with us, already a family of three, there was a need to call a family meeting. My family meetings do not consist of yelling, lecturing, or shaming. Our family meetings are a safe place for everyone to speak freely, respectfully, to listen and learn (at least for the younger generation) how to lead. I shared that this is not a dictatorship but a collaboration and conversation. If anything felt unreasonable, I told them to speak up so we could come up with something that works for all of us.
Calling this meeting meant that we were going over the expectations of the home. My desire for a harmonious living environment was the driving force behind this.
Blending a new member with an already existing way of life can be complicated, but also a good refresher for the children who have been living in my home their whole lives. Sometimes, we all get a little lackadaisical. A family meeting is a good reset.
On a weekly family taco Tuesday night, we gathered around the dining table. No electronics, no television, just us and our food. I could tell that for our newest family member he was a little nervous. I gave us time to eat and enjoy our meal before I started. By the end of the night, as we cleared the table, put away food, and cleaned up the kitchen I heard my bonus kiddo say “So, momma, is that it? Cause all that sounds very reasonable.“
My oldest kiddo chimed in saying “Ya, mom, this was all stuff my sister and I already knew.“
I just smiled.
I felt at peace leaving the table that night. I felt like our family was headed in a good direction. Each person had a set of weekly chores that rotates, so no one person is stuck doing a job they hate for long. Each person picks a night to cook, and everyone knows… whoever cooks, doesn’t clean!
We make sure the yard is taken care of together, and no one’s scrambling to do last-minute laundry late at night. Our family is growing not just in numbers, but in mental and emotional awareness. Our family is setting the tone for future family members to join us.
It’s feelings like this that make me wonder if maybe I wasn’t meant for my own love story, but to share love and guide my children to a better future. Is that enough? Maybe so. We shall see.
What’s something you wish your family understood better about your purpose? Drop it in the comments. I would love to hear how you’re navigating it too!